I have been asked about this topic many times, and I understand that virginity may also be attached to a feeling of shame for many women. Either they did not have sexual intercourse or they were sexually inactive until a certain age, which negatively affected them.
It’s a bit upsetting because when women are sexually active with many partners, oftentimes they are made to feel ashamed. After all, women’s sexuality is quite harshly judged.
The goal of my work is to help women own their sexuality without passing judgment or letting others judge them. Whether you are having a lot of sex or none, neither define your worth. It just makes you, you!
The last woman I worked with, who was a virgin, was 26 years old. When I asked her why her virginity makes her feel so insecure, she looked at me and explained that teenage girls these days are more experienced than her! Although we can tell this was a very general statement which is probably not even true… this is another example of how a woman judges herself because she was not sexually active. It also prevented her from trying to experience anything sexual at all.
I told my client that she should experience sex with penetration when she feels ready. It’s either a matter of meeting the right guy or when you feel ready. After all, this moment is known as intimate and memorable. When a woman tells me she is a virgin, I tell her that I am happy she chose to wait until she feels ready, regardless of how old she is.
Secondly, when you are ready, take control and make it a comfortable and positive experience. To do this, it’s essential to do it with a man you feel you can talk to so you can tell him about your decision to have sex with him and that he is your first partner. He needs to know that in order to be sensitive and slow down the penetration so you can feel comfortable.