It seems that admitting our sexual preferences to the world has become an easier task to tackle. But when it comes to what turns us on, or what our sexual fetishes are, it seems most would rather keep it hidden. So much so, that we are afraid to share our fetish with our lifetime partner, justifying the secrecy by fear of rejection or termination of the relationship.
So, what are fetishes and where do they come from?
A fetish is a sexual arousal caused by inanimate objects or body parts that are not commonly perceived as sexual. There are well-known fetishes, such as: feet, toes, shoes and underwear. The scope of fetishes is limited only by our imagination. There is no conclusion among researchers pertaining to the source of our fetishes. The reason you find something sexually arousing can be embedded in a childhood experience sometimes it’s only a matter of associative reaction. For instance, if you enjoy browsing through images of men you deem sexy and they all wear gym attire, you might develop a psychological connection between the two. Yes, gym attire is my fetish. My heart races whenever I spot a sweaty man wearing muscle hugging gym clothes.
Most of us develop at least one sexual fetish over our adulthood years. But it is not uncommon to have multiple fetishes. Different fetishes sometimes overlap, or they can share common ground. An important thing to remember is that having a fetish is normal and common. When it comes to dealing with your fetish the first step is to acknowledge it, and realize it is not a disorder.
But, can a fetish become a problem? Getting sexually aroused by a pair of sweaty gym shorts is something I can experience and enjoy. But it is not a prerequisite for having sex with my partner. A fetish might turn into a problem if you are unable to experience arousal without it.
Explaining your fetish to your partner can be tricky. Revealing you derive sexual pleasure from something other than the obvious can evoke reasonable fear of rejection or, even worse, breaking-up. Either your partner will get equally excited, or might open up and share their own fetish. Another reaction might be of aversion, and you’ll have to accept that what makes you tick doesn’t necessarily work for your partner. If sharing your fetish leads to a break-up, my guess is that the foundation for the relationship wasn’t solid enough to begin with.